There is a lot of confusion and pretentiousness involved in the liquid conveyors of drunkenness. With the armies of craft breweries and colourful, boobalicious, beer advertisements, it’s hard to know where to begin. A beer is a beer is a beer, but snobs (like me) try to make it something more.
I feel for you, poor beer noob. In the spirit of kinship (and homage to my days when I refused to drink hops) here is a short and sweet guide on how to start drinking beer, and actually enjoy it.
Have a Loved One Share Their Favourite Brew
I fervently believe that beer (and wine) are stories and histories which we inherit. I remember my first alcoholic drink: a gin and tonic with my dad. It was special. I didn’t like it (no one likes their first drink) but the smells and flavour reminded me of my dear old dad: pine, outdoorsyness, and a strange metallic something. It tasted like my favourite dad memories: sitting at a cottage with dusk falling, and dad portioning his ammo for a future hunt. I felt close to my dad, in a way that his shyness and aloof intellect often doesn’t allow.
While this example uses gin, it applies to future beer drinkers. Let a more experienced drinker share what they like in they way they like to drink it. You probably won’t like it, but it can become a cherished memory.
The big brewers are big brewers for a reason. It’s the same reasons Coca-Cola is so big. Massive brewing powerhouses like Budweiser, Canadian, Coors, Stella, Heinekein, and Corona offer what (most) people want. These beers are a good place to start in the beer world. People like them, and they have been designed so that people will continue to like them.
Opt for Variety
Once you’ve tried out Corporate Beer™, check out a local brewery. Talk to your server/beertender about what they offer, and what makes them special. Tell them what you have had, and what you like. If you like certain wines or spirits, tell them! Many beers have similar taste profiles (or borrow techniques) from other alcohols. Get a tasting flight based on their recommendations. Don’t ask your server for what they like to drink, though – I can guarantee that their tastes are different from yours based on a scary amount of tasting experience.
Exercise Your Ravenclaw Side
As I said before, I think that beer and wine is a history we have inherited. Every brew, bottle, and brewery has a raison d’être and story. By drinking, by putting your hard earned dollar toward a certain beer or brewery, you are contributing to the world history of beer.
With this in mind, I encourage the new beer drinker to do some research. When I decided to learn about beer, I initially took a two-pronged approach. Being Irish, I wanted to learn about good Irish brews. Being a Torontoian, I wanted to know why we favour certain brews and why specific trends come and go.
Why do you want to drink beer? Why does a certain beer taste good to you? Why doesn’t it? Why does yeast poop do that thing to your brain? What the hell does torrefaction mean? The more you know about the products you consume and imbibe, the more you can enjoy and make informed decisions.
Don’t be “That Guy”
Don’t be the guy who drinks too much too fast, or who thinks that they know everything after drinking one craft brew. It’s ok not to know anything about beer. The great thing about beer is that there is always more to learn and enjoy. You don’t have to be an expert to enjoy the scene!
Never, ever, be the person who thinks that they can drive after beers. Just say no. Uber is cheap!
Good luck on your beer adventures. Drink wisely, and have fun. Beer is an adventure – Avante!